Have you ever wondered why some couples go to therapy and it transforms their world, while others go to couples therapy and barely get any benefit? This difference exists because you get out what you put in. The therapist cannot be the only one doing all the work. As a couple, both of you need to be dedicated to engaging with the therapist and improving your relationship. Here are some more specific tips to help you get more out of couples therapy.
1. Be Honest
Most people do not purposely lie to their partners, but sometimes, you may tell little white lies or untruths because you're embarrassed or ashamed. This needs to stop once you enter couples therapy. In the therapist's office, you need to be honest when asked a question, whether the question comes from the therapist or your partner. Honesty allows you to more clearly identify the problem so you can work on it and move forward from it. If you lie or withhold the truth, you won't be able to address the right problems.
2. Feel Free to Disagree
While you don't want to have an all-out fight in the therapist's office, you do need to feel comfortable disagreeing with your partner in front of the therapist. In fact, it is often a good thing if you disagree in couples therapy. It gives you a chance to work through a disagreement in a healthy way, with the guidance of your therapist. So many couples struggle not because they disagree, but because they don't know how to healthily work through their disagreements. Give couples therapy a chance to help you improve this. Plus, hiding the fact that you disagree by pretending to agree just to keep the peace is, basically, lying.
3. Be Open to Change
In general, when most couples start therapy, each partner is convinced that they are not the one that needs to change; their partner is. But in most cases, both of you do need to make some changes to improve your relationship. As such, try to shed your stubbornness and become more open to the idea of change. If you allow yourself to change, your relationship will change for the better.
Couples therapy can be life-changing for a partnership. However, the burden is on you to take therapy seriously and put in the effort. Follow the advice above, and you should emerge feeling like a whole new couple. To learn more, contact a service like Bay Area CBT Center.